3rd Birthday Letter to Mivaan
My dear Baby
Today you turned 3!
I can hardly believe yet another year has passed, though to look at you would make it seems like two. The way you talk and the things you know just push that image along. As much as words are my thing, I’m not sure there are adequate words to express how proud I am of my little boy Mivaan, though I’ll try just the same.
The moment you
were here, my heart was yours. The moment you were born, I held my heart in my
hands. Every day, I watch you grow and play and learn and delight those around
you, enjoying in your joy and hoping that the special cuddles you deserve just
for me won’t fade away when you find your forever someone.
Being the mother of a boy
means simultaneously overflowing with joy, burning with blocking, never knowing
whether to laugh or cry or both at once, remembering that farts are funny,
reminding yourself that exploration is necessary, overflowing with love that
flows right on back, all highlighted with the occasional twang of knowing that
your little boy will one day be a man. And that will be an entirely different
journey.
So, before I get forward
of myself, I want you to know that Mumma loves you. Always and no matter what.
Even when I am “cranky”, even when you do the exact reverse of what I asked for
the twentieth time in a row. I know that you’re still cultured, every day is an
opportunity for a new journey! But what you may not know is that I am also
still learning. You, how to be a human; and I, how to be the mother I want to
be, the one you deserve. So, please be patient with Mumma while she gets up to
speed! I promise to hold the space you need to continue to blossom.
In the past, I’ve listed
new things you’ve learned, skills and little habits that delight me. This year,
I want to share my gratitude for being able to be there to observer these. I
know sometimes it’s hard to understand why Mumma is at home and cannot play.
Sure, I’m not really very good at playing, but you can teach me. I
marvel at the way your mind works as I watch you discover game after game,
using your ingenuity to build up slopes and towers and links out of random
things of blocks, I wouldn’t have imagined could go together. I wonder how you
could possibly have learnt so many new words in a day and refer to concepts
that should be well out of your grasp. Though I see you every day – so that
changes are more subtle – you still amaze me as much as you amaze others.
People can’t help but comment on your gifts and smile the kind of smile that
crosses a person’s face when they know they’re seeing something special.
Somehow this last year
has gone even faster; somehow it has felt so long at the same time. It’s kind
of how I feel. I wish time would extend indefinitely so that you could stay my
little baby forever, but I also yearn to watch you grow and meet the person you
will become. Thank you for the blessing of having me present for the journey.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mumma.
Today is your birthday, we are going celebrate with your friend and of
course your favorite school bus theme party.
“I love you in the world.”
Your Mumma.
